Get a grip.

I nap literally all the time. Whether it’s for 20 minutes or 3 hours, it’s a great way to pass time. It’s actually become one of my favourite go-to coping mechanisms. Not the healthiest coping mechanism I’ll admit, but it’s been working pretty well so far.

So, as of July 2019, I am now officially an LLB Law and Criminal Justice Graduate.

The lead up to my graduation day was both stressful and exciting. It was exciting because somehow, despite my unserious behaviours over the years and just general foolishness, I still made it to the end and managed to walk away from university with a degree. However, the lead up was super stressful because in true Bertha style, I left everything until the last minute. Like literally. Everything. 7 days before graduation I still had no dress, no shoes, no hair arrangements, and no real idea of when I was going to actually get any of these things sorted. I was even unemployed at the time, so I’m not entirely sure how I managed to procrastinate to this extent. But somehow (by the Grace of God lol), everything fell into place and I got everything bought and delivered to my house with 2 days to spare.

The 17th of July 2019 – Graduation day. Honestly, one of my all-time favourite days. Being able to celebrate such a huge accomplishment with both my family and friends all around me was just amazing. I remember being on such a high in just knowing that I actually made it. As amazing as graduation day was, it had to come to an end at some point. Sigh.

And then reality hit – I was jobless. Like completely unemployed.

After being on such a high from what was a huge accomplishment, I found myself feeling really down. I applied to a whole bunch of graduate schemes and internships and I pretty much planned out my future based on getting the role at one of the many companies I had applied to. That dream soon came crashing down after I found out that I had been rejected from every single role. From every. Single. Company.

So after coming to terms with the extremity of my new found joblessness and accepting that I would probably have to go back into education, I found myself in a hole of self pity. The question, “so what are your plans now that you’ve graduated?” became the most infuriating question in the world. Mainly because I genuinely didn’t (and still don’t) know the answer. I started to question myself and why my life wasn’t in order and how I managed to get myself in this situation not long after graduating. Even after starting my masters, I found myself constantly complaining about life and how nothing had gone my way.

Now, I feel like there’s only so much self pity I can give to myself before I get bored of it. Constantly complaining about life doesn’t resolve any problems and it certainly doesn’t make you feel any better. In fact it actually made me feel worse.

I think it’s so easy for us as humans to dwell on our issues. We’re often taught to talk about ‘our problems’ and to ‘let it all out’ – my only issue with this is that focussing on your issues and your problems can become so negative so quickly. It can sometimes be so much easier for us to focus on all the negatives that we forgot to consider the hidden blessings that have popped up during our hardships. An example – my masters is legit trying to kill me but I managed to get a part-time job which means that my bank account is no longer violently sobbing (now it’s just gently weeping).

So my life hasn’t gone in the direction that I expected and admittedly I’m not as happy as I would like to be. But I just feel like life is too short to be negative all the time. If I’m completely honest, I find myself feeling so extremely peaceful in knowing that God has got something up His sleeve and just reminding myself of this, genuinely helps me to put things into perspective.

So yeah, what I’m trying to say here is – get a grip. Climb out of the self-pity hole you’ve been digging for however long and just know that everything will work itself out. Life might be looking a bit messy right now (believe me, I KNOW), but as my favourite quote says – “You can’t have a rainbow without a little rain”.

Romans 8:28 (NLT) – “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”

Philippians 4:7 (ESV) – “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”